Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
