I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Randomize
