absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Randomize
