I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Randomize
