five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Randomize
