dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
