I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
where am i from again
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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