But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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