Define "chronic" masturbator.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
