hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
