Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
