Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
