he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
