It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
