but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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