Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
