my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
