I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
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