I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
honey bunches of taint.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
