Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
