Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
