the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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