Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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