why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
