sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
