pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
We need to rekindle our bromance
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Randomize
