Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
