With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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