just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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