Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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