yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
