This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
