Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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