His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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