Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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