hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Randomize
