Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Gay?
German.
Pity.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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