Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
