you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
