Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
