I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
