Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Randomize
