Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
