you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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