if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Randomize
