I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
