If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
I think i got beer on your cat.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
