Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
