I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
