"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
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