apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
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