he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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