Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
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